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MEXICANS SNEAK ONTO U.S. OLYMPIC TEAM

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SOCHI -  Mexicans sneaking onto the U.S. Olympic Team have been granted amnesty and U.S. citizenship.

Taking advantage of President Obama’s new immigration policy, over thirty-five Mexican athletes decided to march with the U.S. Olympic team, declaring that they are students in the U.S. and/or that they have children in the U.S.

The athletes will now be participating in the Olympics as members of the U.S. Olympics team.

Many U.S. athletes were surprised right before walking into the Olympic stadium, when dozens of Mexican athletes joined their ranks chanting, Viva La Mexico, while at the same time asking to be part of the U.S. team.

Under orders from the Obama administration, coaches were not allowed to ask the Mexican athletes if they were “illegal” or not.  “It doesn’t matter what uniform they wear or how they got to Sochi, if they say they are American, we must accept them at their word.  We are not allowed to ask to see their papers.”

This move will add to the U.S. medal count – especially because the Mexican hockey team is predicted to do very well in the Olympics.

Carlos Valenzuela, a biathlete from Mexico City, told WWN that he has always considered himself an American and felt that the Olympics would be a good time for him to join the U.S.A – though he still wants to wear the colors of Mexico.

“We want to thank President Obama and the United States Border Patrol for allowing us to participate in the Olympic Games as Americans.  We believe that the new policy of openness and anti-discrimination will benefit all the people of the United States and Mexico.”

After learning that the Mexicans were allowed to become U.S. citizens without any challenge whatsoever, many athletes from others countries are planning on joining the American team as well.

Chinese athletes, however, are forbidden from joining the U.S. team.  “If they do, they will be shot,” said an anonymous Chinese official.