RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL – Middle aged pop singer Madonna is at the center of controversy again for being seen with a Brazilian model names Jesus.
Despite rumors of being in a relationship, Weekly World News reporters have discovered that the two are actually planning a nativity scene.
Madonna, recently off her walker after breaking her hip on stage, is planning on staging a multimedia interfaith Nativity Scene for release on her website.
Leaked shooting scripts describe an opening video, shot on a sound stage in London, with Madonna and Alex Rodriguez portraying Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem. The two mount a donkey wearing a burkha, underscored by an acoustic version of “Like a Virgin.”
The travel sequence will be projected on to the side of the Catedral Metropolitana in Rio De Janeiro, the Great Wall of China, and Mount Rushmore on Christmas Eve.
Broadcast live on the web, Madonna and the hunky Jesus will complete her artistic vision in front of an audience in Glasgow. In a highly choreographed number, Madonna will use interpretive dance to tell the story of a promised savior, which will be translated into sign language by people dressed as Vishnu, Gilgamesh, and Luke Skywalker.
In a manger that greatly resembles Islam’s Dome of the Rock, Madonna will give birth to the sexy 24 year old Jesus while the audience is sprayed with Kabbalah water.
A Rabbi, a priest, and a Pentecostal minister will shepherd on dancers in livestock costumes designed by Julie Taymor. Each animal will have PETA slogans written on their sides. Actors dressed as Buddha, Confucius, and Brigham Young will come bearing gifts after following a star created from a volcano by Lord Xenu.
The performance will culminate in all the characters dancing to an electro-house version of Ave Maria, serenaded by the Vienna Boys Choir dressed as angels and suspended from the ceiling on cables.
The Pope has not prepared his reaction yet.