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MALIBU MAYANS

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Malibu is the new hotspot for believers in the Mayan Prophecy.  Thousands are heading there to wait for the apocalypse!

The  affluent beachfront city  of Malibu  has been  making the news recently because of a new group founded by local resident , Viddy Regelman.  His group is called the  Malibu Mayan Militia (MMM) and they are preparing for the end of the world.

The MMM has erected pyramids along the white sandy beaches, in order to offer safe housing for the upcoming Apocalypse on December 21, 2012. Regelman, who has lived in Malibu for 30 years, is getting ready to bug out. ” I believe that the citizens of this white, I mean nice city, are entitled to live. We are a step above others in the food chain, and we just deserve to live,” Regelman said.

When Regelman is not planning for the End of Days, he is curator at Malibu’s Museum of Intolerance, which also serves as the local meeting place for the Malibu Mayan Militia.

The pyramids each house 100 people comfortably and the private bunkers are each selling for $250,000. According to Regelman, ” it is a matter of checks and balances. You give me a check for a hundred thousand, and the balance in cash. We have a master race to worry about.”

Thousands of Mayan believers are heading to Malibu to wait out the apocalypse and believe that if they join the MMM, they will be “saved” on December 21, 2012 –  the day the Mayans predicted the world will end.

Here’s heroes of the MMM:

Local Malibu Resident, Barbra Streisand, is erecting her own Pyramid, the Streisand Shrine, so that she does not have to speak to people in the event of an Apocalypse. Anyone caught looking at Ms. Streisand will be banished from the community before December 21st. Our sources tell us that Ms. Streisand has hired the finest cinematographers in Hollywood to ensure that her shrine gets the best lighting.

For further information please contact the Malibu Mayan Militia. Qualified applicants must be approved by the Board of Intolerant Directors.  People of color need not apply.