Russian spy Anna Chapman was out to sexually ensnare a member of President Obama’s cabinet – and she succeeded!
The FBI’s counterintelligence chief told a BBC interviewer that Chapman was getting “very close” to high ranking leadership in the Obama Administration.
“They were close enough to a sitting U.S. cabinet member that we though we could no longer allow this to continue,” reportedly said C. Frank Figliuzzi, the assistant FBI director for counterintelligence, according to sources. . That alleged — repeat: alleged — sexual “closeness” prompted Figliuzzi’s agents to shift from monitoring Chapman’s crew of ten spies to arresting them in 2010.
Figliuzzi doesn’t say which “serving” cabinet official was shtupping, or almost shtupping, Anna Chapman. It would be irresponsible to speculate. But it’s so, so, so hard not to. Luckily, Vice President Joe Biden spilled the beans and put an end to the speculation.
“It was me! I was the one close to Anna I love Russia!” Biden reportedly told reporters in Kalamazoo. Many inside the White House and outside the White House doubt that Joe was intimate with Anna but Biden insists.
“I love Russian spies. That’s my thing,” Biden reportedly told a waitress in Peoria. He even told Jay Leno about his affair.
Chapman appears to have been a pretty incompetent spy. Her crew used what intelligence reporter Jeff Stein termed “primitive radio techniques” and hid loosely encrypted messages in plain sight on the internet She traded in “routine political gossip and policy talk,” as the New York Times put it, rather than real secrets. Bedding a cabinet official would seem to be past her means, comely as they are.
These days, you’re likely to find Chapman on the Russian celebrity circuit, boosting Vladimir Putin’s political machinations, or expressing ambitions for designing bizarre fashions. So she’s probably unlikely to spill. But if Figliuzzi is anywhere even close to correct, maybe Chapman left clues to her little black book online somewhere.