CLINTONVILLE, Wis. — Authorities are perplexed over the strange, loud noises heard in the eastern part of the state.
As recent as Wednesday, loud, resonating booms have been heard in a Wisconsin city. Many believe the noise is coming from underground, despite the fact that investigations into gas lines, mining explosives and sewers have turned up nothing.
Though many scientists, experts and members of law enforcement have been consulted, only one believes he has the answer. Local writer A. Gregory Pickens, a pop culture historian and professor of film studies at a local college, believes the truth can be found in one of H.G. Welles’ classic tales: “The War of the Worlds.”
Many adaptations of the book, whether the Orson Welles radio drama or the 2005 film, have maintained the classic scenes of the tripod machines rising up to conquer the humans on the surface. Pickens thinks this may be close to reality.
“No one can explain these noises naturally,” Pickens said in an exclusive phone interview with Weekly World News. “I think with all of the UFO sightings in Clintonville within the past few decades, one could come to the conclusion that something not of this world is below. I think it’d be irresponsible to not prepare ourselves accordingly.”
As one of the parties who have attested to seeing unknown objects in Wisconsin skies, Pickens has already begun to board up his home in preparation of the attack. When asked why he doesn’t just leave the city, he maintains a logical approach.
“If they’re coming, they won’t stop in Clintonville,” he said. “They’ll hit every square of the earth. My best bet is to just hope they find my homemade fortress too difficult to get into and just move on. Or maybe, like everyone else, I’m toast.”