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KILLER TURKEY


A killer turkey is on the loose in Michigan!

An angry turkey called Godzilla has been terrorizing residents of Michigan for over two months.  There have been over three dozen turkey attack victims and two fatalities.  Authorities have been unable to catch the killer

One victim, Betty Geimer, now wakes up an extra hour early to avoid the wild bird on her daily trip to the post office after she was viciously attacked by the turkey.

“He bite my hand, took three of my fingers with him.”

Godzilla regularly attacks victims when they are on their way to work or school and typically jumps out of bushes with wings spread wide.

High school students in the Upper Peninsula are now so frightened of the bird that they are all staying at home – playing video games – instead of going outside.

The same is true for the elderly.  “I’m afraid to go out of my house,” said Vern Reddock.  “I have to go to the 7-11 at 6 o’clock in the morning to avoid the maniac.”

“I had to go next door to the neighbors and have him use a push broom to keep him away while I brought the groceries in,” said Edna Margolis, “that damn bird blocked the path to my house.

The aggressive turkey has been nicknamed Godzilla, a fictional monster made famous in a series of Hollywood films.

Local Michigan resident Sam Reid, has also been attacked regularly.  “He bit  off my nose and plucked a hole in my brother’s stomach. The thing probably weighs 55 to 60 pounds.”

Michigan authorities are doing everything they can to calm residents.  “We sent a few deputies out to shoot the bird, but they never came back.  We’re thinking of calling in the National Guard.”

Turkeys are known to be extremely aggressive when defending their territory, according to wildlife expert John Comito.

‘That’s an adult bird. It’s trying to defend the area or the territory.”  Comito told the Free Pass. ‘They can be aggressive in terms of defending the territory, especially if they are wild with the Gobble Disease.”

Michigan currently has over 200,000 wild turkeys which roam the vast surrounding woodland territory of the Great Lakes.