BEWARE THE BAT FLU!

Scientists have found a new influenza virus that infects bats.  Bat Boy seems to be immune to it, but still… beware!

The bat flu virus is sweeping the globe and  can infect people, especially if Bat Boy decides to send some of his friends your way.

According to Jason Jasonorus, chief of the molecular virology and vaccines  at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Bat Flu could be more lethal (in a crazy kind of way)  than the bird flu or the swine flu.

He and a team of American and Guatemalan researchers isolated the virus from fruit-eating, little yellow-shouldered bats in Guatemala.

The new virus belongs to a family of flu viruses called Influenza Bat Boy.  Birds are natural hosts for these viruses, but they are found in other animals, too, including pigs, seals, ducks, emus, koalas and whales and of course, humans, according to the CDC. The flu viruses that cause pandemics generally emerge from infected animal populations.

Is Bat Boy spreading the flu?
Is Bat Boy behind a pandemic?
Does Bat Boy even know what influenza is?
Good questions!  And WWN is working to get the answer.  We have contact Dr. Barry Lead – Ph.D. in Mutant Bat Sciences – to discus the bat flu and how (or why) Bat Boy is involved.
“This does not seem to be something that Bat Boy would be involved in.  He doesn’t need a virus to attack humans.  He’s fully capable of doing it on his own.  But sometimes he does like giving people a good scare, so I am investigating.”
While bats so far haven’t been known to contribute to human flu, they have been found carrying a number of diseases that can affect both us and domestic animals, including Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS).
And scientists have also identified ABBS ( Acute Bat Boy Syndrome).
This guy has a bad case of ABBS.

So does he:

“Bats’ global distribution, abundance, social lifestyle and ability to fly long distances make them well-equipped to acquire and spread virus, and they may be taking direction from the mutant,” said Jasonorus.

It’s not clear how this all happened, but authorities are trying to locate Bat Boy to question him about it.

Good luck with that…