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MUTANT SPIDERS TERRORIZE NORTH CAROLINA TOWN


MATTHEWS, N.C. —  Genetically-mutated spiders have made their way onto the streets of this town!

After initial reports that a “cobweb-like” substance was found on nuclear waste near the Charlotte National Laboratory, sources have now confirmed that geneticially-mutated spiders have made their way into the streets of the nearby town of Matthews. The spiders, the assumed culprits for the strange substance found on the site, can be easily identified from their pale-brown body and length of about 3 feet.

In addition, some of the spiders are also said to have red, “glowing” fangs, according to reports.

As far as the origin of the dangerous creatures, many have cited the national laboratory as the “obvious” source of the spiders. Labworkers have been analyzing the web material found on the site for the last two weeks, and the prospect of the substance being born from biological means has created a buzz in the scientific community.  A Charlotte scientist, who has asked not to be named, neither confirmed nor denied where the mutant spiders originated.

“Look, let’s not point fingers,” the scientist said. “The important thing is just for everyone to calm down and alert your local authorities if you come across the animals. We don’t believe the spiders actually show aggression toward humans, but as a precaution, you should keep smaller domesticated animals behind locked doors.”

Patrols for the creatures will continue over the course of the evening.

Sources have also confirmed that teenage boys should not let the spiders bite them in an attempt to acquire super-powers, as this act will most likely prove to be hazardous. However, many local teenagers have ignored this advice, with many remarking to authorities that “you’re not the boss of me.”