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DRAGON MILLIPEDE COMES OUT OF CLOSET


HUP PA TARD, THAILAND – The dragon millipede has come out as the first openly gay insect in the world!

The millipede was just discovered last year by scientists in the Greater Mekong area. It is most notable for its bright pink coloring, which was originally thought to act as a warning to predators.

But Weekly World News has the exclusive scoop: pink is actually his choice of self-expression! The teenage arthropod exclaimed, “I’m here! I’m queer! I’m a Desmoxytes purpurosea! Get used to it!”

His parents, Mr and Mrs. Dragon Millipede, are more subdued but supportive. “To be honest, it didn’t come as a big surprise. Most of us millipedes are happy to crawl around very slowly in earth tones, but not our D.M. Junior. He’s very unique.” She affectionately ruffled Junior’s antennae, to which he sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.

When asked how he felt, Mr. Dragon Millipede shrugged his multiple shoulders. “I guess we won’t be playing 400 Ball Catch any time soon. But at least you can help your mother do her make-up now, right? Right, son?”

D.M. Junior silently went up to his cave and slammed his rainbow colored door.