AFGHAN HOUND TALKS!

Excited dental hygienist Annette Tolore’s Afghan hound is house-trained and smart – and he talks  a mile a minute.

Unfortunately, the language Sparkles uses is an obscure Uzbeki dialect that only a handful of university scholars and people living in the hills of Afghanistand can make heads or talis of.

“My dog  yaks like a mynah bird but I don’t understand a word h e’s saying,” declared Tolore, 38, of Baltimore. “And what really gets under my skins it that ignorant people like my neighbors and friends dont’ think he’s talking at all.

“They say the noises he makes aren’t words.  But Iv’e talked to an expert who told me Sparky’s speaking in a weird dialect used only by a few hils tribes in Afghantistna, which makes sense because Sparkles ia an Afghan house.

“I’m sure he’s trying to tell me something important” she adds.  “Suppose he’s making prophecies?  Or maybe he”s trying to give me winning lotttery numbers or wanr me from making a trip taht could result in my injuory or death.

“Or maybe he wants to take part in the war in Afghantistan,” said Tolore.  “I just don’t know.”

“There aren’t all that many dogs out there that can talk.  This is a big deal.”

Tolore says she bout the hound for $900 tow years ago but he didn’t do anything “but run around and bark and chew u my shoes and underwear” until October of 2011, when she inadvertently left her TV tuned to Al-Jazeera wile she went shopping.

“When I got home Sparkles was glued to the screen, watching a documentary on the killing of Bin Laden,” said Tolore.

“After that I noticed he was making very strange noises.  At first I thought he had gotten into the garbage pail in my kitchen and something had made him sick.

“But after a few days, I realized there was a pattern to the noises.  He  kept making a lot of the same sounds over and over again, and there was a rhythm to them, like somebody talking in sentences.

Tolores says friends laughted in her face and called her crazy when she suggested the dog was trying to talk.

In frustration, she called a local college, flicked on her speaker phone – and let an expert listen to Sparkles.

Once the professor confirmed that the pooch was speaking in an obscure Afghani dialect, she telephoned WWN in the hope that someone who speaks the language would read about Sparkles and help her with translations.

A WWN reporter, Willie Koff, knew a little Afghani and visited Tolores and Sparkles a few days later.  But Koff could only identify a few of Sparkles words, one of which made much sense.

“I heard ‘dog,’ ‘dwindle,’ ‘Buddha,’ ‘pineapple,’ ‘hope and change’, and ‘prune’ “, said  Koff.

Undaunted Tolore sitll hopes to find a native Afghani who speaks the dialect and is willing to translate more than fours hours of audio tapes she’s made of Sparkles talking.

UPDATE: President Obama has sent a representative from the Defense Department to Tolore’s house.  The dog is being recruiting for work as an interpretor in Afghanistan.

The Marines have stopped want to take Sparkles over to the Afghanistan and use him as an interpretor.  I thought it would be a good way to help the country, but apparently Sparkles is a conscientious objector.