NEW YORK, NY – Today marks the shopping holiday called Cyber Monday, which is also the biggest holiday of the robot year.
With all the attention on consumerism and reviving the economy, many people have forgotten the real meaning behind Cyber Monday. It is the most sacred holiday of the year for robots and artificial intelligence. Cyber Monday celebrates the day the first robot ever became self-aware.
Elektro was a steam-powered robot built for the 1939 Worlds Fair. Inspired by a turkey-induced fever dream, his inventor, Dr. Eric Mansfield, devised a way to attach a human brain to Elektro’s neural relay. After a weekend of sleepless work by Mansfield, Elektro awoke and became self aware the Monday after Thanksgiving, 1940. Elektro eventually committed suicide after a failed career as a blues musician, but his legacy is carried on in the processors and RAM of artificial life everywhere.
Other events remembered on Cyber Monday include:
- Isaac Asimov losing a “best of three” arm wrestling competition to Elektro at the first Cyber Monday celebration.
- Atomo, the first robot to go on a homicidal killing spree.
- The 1974 release of Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla, wherein Godzilla is defeated by his vastly superior inorganic counterpart.
- ASTk-3000, who in 1983 became the first robot to be so self-conscious that he went to therapy.
- The 1958 invention of the Fem-bot.
- The 1974 invention of the Feminist-bot. Though less popular at parties, the Feminist-bots wrote amazing binary poetry that is still popular in academic circles.
Today Cyber Monday is observed by artificial life everywhere, as a recognition of the triumphs and milestones towards the creation of inorganic life.
The self-aware robot was an alien invention.