ROME – Italy is on the brink of financial ruin, so China has made an offer to buy Italy.
An embattled prime minister struggling to hold the government together. Rocketing public debt. An economy on the brink of collapse. What are the Italians to do?
Italy is in dire political and fiscal shape. The government of Silvio Berlusconi is collapsing as he continues clinging to power. Italy is third largest member of the Eurozone. It is weighed down with a runway public debt of $2.6 trillion, a figure more than 120 percent of GDP, Italy has indulged in a massive borrowing spree.
But China has come to Italy’s rescue!
They have made an offer to buy Italy (for 50 cents on the dollar). Italy will become a colony of China and will be renamed Chitaly. Pasta will be renamed “noodles.”
The Chinese plan on building a “great wall” between Rome and Vatican City – so the “Catholics don’t get out.”
The Chinese also plan on selling Sicily to Libya – some say they want to just give it away.
Chinese leaders said they will not tolerate the mafia in their colony and will be sending the Chinese Triad in to “clean things up.”
Other than that – and the fact that “monkey brains” will now be served in all Italian restaurants – everything else will remain the same in old “Italy.”
Book your first tour of Chitaly now!