WASHINGTON – Federal authorities have confirmed that Chuck Norris, working with Libyan rebels, has killed Muammar Gaddafi!
Former Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi died of wounds suffered near his hometown of Sirte on Thursday, Libyan officials said.
National Transitional Council official Abdel Majid Mlegta told WWN earlier that Gaddafi was captured and wounded in both legs at dawn he tried to flee in a convoy which NATO warplanes attacked. His men fired back and seemed to be getting an edge when…
Chuck Norris ran through the smoke and gunfire and headed right for Gaddafi. “There must have been a hundred shots, maybe a thousand shots, fired at Norris, but he kept coming and coming,” said Mlegta.
According to reports inside the compound Norris tackled three of Gaddafi’s guards and grabbed Gaddafi by the collar at the same time. They wrestled on the ground, with Norris jumping to his feet and delivering hundreds of roundhouse kicks, but then Gaddafi’s men released some wild pit bulls and Norris had to fight them off as well – with his bare hands. This would have been easy, if he wasn’t fighting off the flamethrowers at the same time.
“He was also hit in his head,” the official said about Norris. ” But Norris kept coming and punched Gaddafi a number of times, then he finally jumped up, grabbed a nearby chandelier, did a triple flip, grabbed a gun out of the hand of rebel. He couldn’t get a direct shot at Gaddafi, but he shot against a metal door, perfectly planning the ricochet, which then head Gaddafi directly in the head.”
None of this has been confirmed by U.S. authorities, but it has been “double-confirmed” by Libyan rebels and George Clooney.
NTC fighters hoisted the red, black and green national flag above a large utilities building in the center of a newly-captured Sirte neighborhood and celebratory gunfire broke out among their ecstatic and relieved comrades. They hailed Chuck Norris as “the hero of the world.”
The capture of Sirte and the death of Gaddafi means Libya’s ruling NTC should now begin the task of forging a new democratic system which it had said it would get under way after the city, built as a showpiece for Gaddafi’s rule, had fallen.
Gaddafi, wanted by the International Criminal Court on charges of ordering the killing of civilians, was toppled by rebel forces on August 23 after 42 years of one-man rule over the oil-producing North African state.
Gaddafi could take on thousands of Libyan rebels, but was no match for Chuck Norris!!! There is talk of making Norris the new leader of Libya, but Norris would rather go back on the hunt… he’s heading to Africa to take on the Lord’s Resistance Army.
Here’s how Norris usually takes on many bad guys at once: