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PROP COMIC SUFFERS GRIEVOUS WOUND


SAN FRANCISCO –  Stand-up comedian, Gallagher, badly injured himself  today in a performance at the Last Day Saloon when he mistook his own head for a watermelon.

World famous prop comic, Gallagher, has done more than 3,000 shows over 30 years – and has tirelessly toured,  bringing his unique brand of stand-up to concert halls, vegetable gardens and TV sets (via his Showtime specials) across the nation.

He’s most famously known for  smashing watermelons with a massive mallet.  He calls his mallet the Sledge-O-Matic.  “We love when he smashes a watermelon, it’s like watching The Beatles play Hey Jude,” said Gallagher groupie, Mindy Miller, 65.

But something went awry at the Last Day Saloon – Gallagher mistook his head for a watermelon.

“He came to the climax of his show and he brought out the watermelon.  The crowd went absolutely berserk. They knew what was coming. They had been waiting the entire show to see the watermelon.,” said Last Day patron, Skippy Morgan (37).  “Gallagher took out the Sledge-O-Matic, he lifted it in the air and then he seemed to get confused.   Maybe it was the flickering lights or maybe it was the three Shirley Temple’s he had before going on – but he turned away from the watermelon, put his head on the table and… BAM!  He smashed his head.”

Stagehands rushed out with a  gurney, but it was a prop gurney and it collapsed when Gallagher was put on it.  So, they put him on a gigantic American flag that Gallagher  always carries with him, but his head, which was barely attached at this point, began to sing the National Anthem, so they ducted tape his mouth shut and took him to the hospital.

In March, 2011 Gallagher suffered a heart attack on stage – and he made a full recovery.  Can he recover from a self-inflicted mallet-head wound?  Doctors aren’t saying.

Comics around the U.S. were devastated by the news.  “Who?” said Jerry Seinfeld.  “That’s what you get for beating up on watermelons,” said Steve Harvey.   “I learned everything I know from Gallagher,” said Jay Leno.

WWN wishes Gallagher a quick recovery and hope they put his head on straight.