ABC CANCELS CHARLIE’S ANGELS – PICKS NEW LINEUP

HOLLYWOOD –  Sorry Charlie, but the 2011 Angels are done. BUT ABC signed three new Angels:  Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Knox and Casey Anthony.

ABC has shut down production on its reboot of Charlie’s Angels effective immediately, in the wake of a full month of meager ratings.  They have fired their three stars:  Minka Kelly, Rachael Taylor and Annie Ilonzeh.

ABC made a stunning announcement that they have already found three new Angels.  Casey Anthony, Amanda Knox and Lindsay Lohan have all agreed to star in the reboot of the reboot of Charlie’s Angels.

Already-produced Angels episodes will continue to air in the Thursdays-at-8 slot, at least up to until Anthony, Lohan and Knox can get up to speed with the show.

In its Sept. 22 premiere, Charlie’s Angels attracted 8.7 million viewers and a 2.1 rating in the advertiser-coveted adults 18-49 demographic against competition including the second night of Fox’s X Factor premiere. As the season progressed, the hourlong drama failed to match its debut ratings, sinking each week.

ABC executives are confident  that they have the right stars to catapult the show into the top ten every week.   “We have three “powerhouse” stars and expect the show to attract north of 10 million viewers a week,” said ABC executive Allegra Staples.

Knox and Anthony have never acted before (not professionally), but they both are used to cameras and feel confident that they can capture their respective characters.  “I always wanted to be a crime fighter,” said Casey Anthony.  “I’m still looking for the person that killed Caylee and I know one day, I will be successful.”

Amanda Knox’s character on the show will speak English and Italian.  “Italian is almost my first language now, so I think it will add a great dimension to my character and the show.”

Lohan says that she plans to stay sober for the run of the show, “at least for the first two episodes, maybe.”

The new, NEW Charlie’s Angels will debut on Thanksgiving.