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HERMAN CAIN: FREE PIZZA FOR ALL AMERICANS!


ORLANDO, FL –  Republican candidate, Herman Cain, is promising free pizza for all Americans if he wins the Presidency.

Herman Cain has moved into a tie with Mitt Romney atop the field of Republican presidential candidates. It’s looking like he has a real shot at the Republican nomination for President and real good shot to be the 45th President of the United States, so…

Herman Cain is promising free pizza for all Americans if he wins.  Sources close to Cain, who is the President of Godfather’s Pizza, will provide nine pies, on nine days in nine months in the first year after he wins election.  “I call it my 9-9-9 plan.”

Contrary to the food and health policies, Cain believes that pizza is a “primary” food for most Americans and that people should eat “as much as they damn want.”

Cain’s rise in the polls follows a flurry of positive media coverage for his upset victory over Perry in the Florida straw poll last month. The only African-American candidate in the GOP field, Cain has also been getting traction with GOP voters and conservative columnists with his 9-9-9  plan.

“Everybody loves pizza,” said GOP pollster, Randy Rosegarten.

Cain is the top choice among self-described pizza-lovers, with 99 percent support.   He also does well with chinese food lovers (88 percent), Subway lovers (82 percent) and Dunkin Donuts lovers (75%) – though this may increase because Chris Christie announced he was not running in 2012.

And Cain wants his free pizzas big:

Cain’s strong showing comes as he embarks on a book tour that will keep him busy for much of October – a scheduling decision that has some wondering how serious he is about his presidential campaign. Cain is not scheduled to return to the first-in-the-nation state of Iowa until the middle of November, and he has seen significant staff shakeup, most recently losing his respected communications director – a sign that his staff may not see him as mounting a serious challenge for the nomination.

Can also promises “a pizza on every table” if he wins in 2012.

Yummy!