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PALO ALTO, CA – Facebook plans to sign up every person on the planet – whether they want to be on FB or not!

Mark Zuckerberg made a startling announcement today.  He plans on putting every man, woman and child on Facebook before the end of the year.   There are almost 7 billion people on the planet and Zuckerberg feels that they should ALL be on Facebook.

“This is a service I want to do for mankind.  If we can get every person on the planet on Facebook, then everyone is just one click away from everyone else,” Zuckerberg reportedly told reporters last night. “The world will literally be one.”

Zuckerberg hopes that having a “Facebook account” will be similar to being slapped on the butt when you are born.  “As soon as  a person is born, we will set up a Facebook account for them. Then they can populate their account with text, pictures, video etc., whenever and if ever they want do.  But, whether they participate fully or not, they will be on the site.”

Facebook has increased it’s storage capacity to handle every human being.  “If you are not on Facebook, then you don’t exist.  That’s what the world is coming to,”  Zuckerberg’s assistant, Wendy Lukola told WWN.

There remains strong agreement – in certain circles – that Mark Zuckerberg plans on shutting down Facebook on March 15, 2012.  This has been confirmed by many sources close to Facebook insiders.

So, why would he shut it down, if he plans on putting every human being on the planet on his site?

Reportedly, the plan is to sign everyone up and then turn over the Facebook database to the U.N. and they can they track every human on the planet.

“Mark wants to give something back to the world and leave a real legacy,” said Lukola.

Now, nobody will be able to escape Facebook.   As Zuckerberg reportedly said, “Facebook equals life.”