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PORN STUDIO BUILDS BUNKER FOR ALIEN ATTACK


LOS ANGELES — An adult entertainment studio is  building an underground bunker in anticipation of the alien attack in November.

The San Fernando Valley studio calls it a “post-alien” underground bunker in anticipation of the  alien attack predicted to take place in November, 2011.

Extraterrestrial researchers and NASA scientists predict the alien attack will occur around November 27th, 2011.  The three spaceships are now somewhere between Mars and Jupiter and moving at a rapid speed.  They have been identified as aliens from Planet Gootan.

Here is the plan for the bunker:

A spokesman for Van Nuys-based Pink Panda said the bunker will be “far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave” with amenities such as multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and a sophisticated content production studio.

“Our goal is nothing less than to survive the attack from the Gootans in comfort and luxury,” said Pink Panda spokesman Sharona Tookie, “whether the invasion is extremely violent with fireballs flung from Gootan spaceship, or with bombs, flesh-eating zombies aliens, or some combination of the above, we will be ready.”

Here’s a couple porn actors discussing the alien invasion:

The studio will continue making porn during the alien invasion.  “One thing we know, if any humans survive, they will want porn.  After food, the first thing humans want is sex.”

Tookie declined to give WWN the exact location of the bunker over “security concerns”.  They did say they have already ordered 5,000 cases of these:

The studio is currently working out details on the selection criteria for all non-Pink Panda personnel who they will allow to take refuge in the bunker, but Tookie said it will “likely include both merit-based and random selections, with Pink Panda performers, active site members and Twitter followers getting priority over the general public.”

Frank Lake of WWN, has been pre-approved to be part of the Pink Panda bunker.

Unfortunately, so has this guy: