SNOOKI BLOWN OFF JERSEY SHORE!

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ –  Snooki was on the boardwalk when Irene hit.   She was blown away!
The cast of  MTV’s  “Jersey Shore” wanted to take advantage of Hurricane Irene to get some “radical shots.”  So, they went to the boardwalk on Saturday night to shoot the crew running into the ocean for a minute.
Unfortunately, Irene proved to be too much for the vertically-challenged Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, who was caught in a 60 mph gust of wind and was carried off.  The Situation and Pauly D tried to get to her, but it was too late.

Some are speculating that she was just blown a mile to the east, but others think that she may have blown all the way to Philadelphia.
“I knew she had lost some weight recently, but I didn’t think that she would get carried away by the wind,” said Jersey Shore producer Joe Flazani.  “She must have gone about a hundred feet into the air and then – bam – she was up over the trees and heading toward Bayonne – or Buffalo – I’m not sure.

Jersey Shore producers asked Governor Chris Christie for help in finding Snooki, but the Governor was not anxious to help.  “I told everybody to get the hell off the beach and I meant it.  If  those knuckleheads wanted to shoot on the beach during a hurricane, it’s their own damn fault.  I just hope she doesn’t land in the Governor’s mansion.”
Fortunately, Michelle Obama is a big fan of Jersey Shore and she asked her husband to step in and help find Snooki.   President Obama order the Air Force to send several jets, helicopters and Jersey drones to find the Jersey starlet.
“Snooki’s a national treasure.  We’ll find her.  I found Bin Lade, I can find Snooki.”
If you see Snooki overhead, don’t approach her… just call 911.