BEIJING – China has foreclosed on the White House and wants the First Family out by the end of the month.
China bluntly criticized the US just two days after the superpower’s credit rating was downgraded, saying the “good old days” of borrowing were over. And to prove their point – they foreclosed on the White House.
How could they do that? Well, China, the United States’ biggest creditor, owns the majority of U.S. debt and instead of demanding repayment on outstanding debt, they have decided to seize the White House as an “impetus to get the U.S. government to get control of their debt!”
The United States “should get a clear understanding that the continuous decline of the debt service capability will inevitably result in the outbreak of penalties imposed by our government,” said Guan Jianzhong, Chairman of Dagong Global Credit Rating, who downgraded U.S. Debt from A+ to KP (Kung Pow).
“The U.S. government must come to terms with the painful fact that the good old days when it could just borrow its way out of messes of its own making are finally gone,” China’s official Xinhua news agency said when commenting about foreclosing on the White House.
The Obamas will have to move out by September 1st. They plan on moving in with the Vice President, Joe Biden, and his family – they live at the U.S. Naval Observatory mansion. The Obamas are happy to live with Joe because “he’s a lot of fun,” said Michelle Obama.
The Vice President’s mansion is very clean, which makes the Obamas happy. “Joe had the place completely fumigated after the Cheney’s left,” said Joe Biden’s Chief-of-Staff, Susan Begley.
Finance ministers and central bankers of the Group of Seven major industrialized nations will spoke by telephone later Sunday, and agreed that a foreclosing on The White House was a good idea. “We need to send a message to this administration,” a senior European diplomatic source said.
French Finance Minister Francois Baroin, the chair of the G7 and G20 presidency, said it was too early to say whether they would advise the Chinese to repossess other America properties.
China scorned the United States for its “debt addiction” and “short sighted” political wrangling.
“China, the largest creditor of the world’s sole superpower, has every right now to demand the United States address its structural debt problems and ensure the safety of China’s dollar assets and to repossess whatever U.S. properties it wants,” said Xinhua News.
In Washington, U.S. President Barack Obama urged lawmakers on Sunday to set aside partisan politics after the debt battle, saying they must work to put the United States’ fiscal house in order and refocus on stimulating its stagnant economy. “The President wants to move back into his home as soon as possible. He has a party scheduled for October 1st.”
Here’s how the President and Vice President took the news of the foreclosure:
And the Chinese have agreed to rent out the White House until the Obama Administration comes up with a deficit reduction plan. Here’s the lucky couple that will be moving in: