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JONNIE MARBLES, CIA


LONDON – Jonnie Marbles, the man who attacked Rupert Murdoch, revealed he is an American spy.

Jonnie Marbles was beaten by Rupert Murdoch’s wife, Wendi Deng, at the hearing held in front of British MPs.

Marbles was then rolled out of the hearing room and put into a sack after he smashed a marble cheesecake into Rupert Murdoch’s face.  Wendi Deng rushed out of the hearing room and continued to beat Marbles senseless.  Deng also smashed a pumpkin pie into Marbles face.

Marbles was taken to Scotland Yard where he was grilled by detectives for over an hour.  He talked about his deep love for Rupert Murdoch and that he merely wanted to give Murdoch some pie.  “I slipped and lost my balance.  His face was in the wrong place and he got hit with the pie.  I never wanted that to happen.  I love Rupert.  I really love him.”

WWN, however, can confirm that Eric Holder had hired Marbles, a popular British comedian (and expert pie thrower), to infiltrate the hearing and attack Murdoch.  A CIA insider told WWN, “The pie was a distraction.  What Marbles actually did was implant a brain chip into Murdoch’s skull. The chip will be controlled by the White House.”

When Marbles was taken out of the interrogation room and into a holding cell – Wendi Deng came bursting into the room and pummeled him again.  “She was like one of Charlie’s Angels.  She was kicking and punching like a pro.  She’s got a  bright future in the UFC,” said Scotland Yard detective, Ian Frum.

Wendi Deng has challenged Marbles to a cage match next month.

The CIA is unlikely to let Marbles take part in the event, though he will be baking cheesecakes for the agents at next month’s CIA picnic.