HOLLYWOOD – Comedian Bill Maher is renouncing his American citizenship and moving to France.
On Friday night Bill Maher told his “Real Time” audience that Americans were “f*&*king” morons” and that “anybody could be elected President of “this f*^%king stupid country.” He finally threw in his American towel and announced he is moving to a place “where the people are smart and the asses are tight.” He’s moving to France – with himself.
Maher, who reportedly is afraid to go to the Midwest and Southeast because “I may get attacked by a bunch of rednecks brandishing Twinkies and Bibles,” also said that rumors that Southern hookers are refusing to come to his Hollywood Hills home had nothing to do with his decision.
Julia Monday, a spokeswoman for Maher said the self-proclaimed “comedian” is so in love with himself that he is unaffected by the hooker boycott. “As long as there are TV cameras on him, Bill will thrive,” Monday said.
Maher spends the majority of his days looking into his gold-plated mirrors, combing his grey hair strands and telling himself he is smarter, better and more beautiful than anyone on earth. He despises anyone who is not Bill Maher and he doesn’t want to spend time with anyone making less than $2 million a year. “Everyone else is a f&*^ing moron” Maher said.
Americans were quick to respond to Maher’s decision. “Never heard of him.” said Molly Joneston from Peoria. “Maher? That sounds like some kind of bowel disease.” said Tom Kay of Buffalo. “I know Maher,” said Tommy Flannagan of Harvard University. “He spoke at our school, and told us that religion causes cancer.”
HBO supports Bill Maher’s decision. As a farewell, they have dedicated the entire July 4th weekend to Bill Maher’s final special entitled “F&*k America and the a*&holes who live there!” He plans on charging Americans $25 to watch.