How to talk to your partner about sex.
Even the couples who have lived together for many years have their own “forbidden areas”. There is much less in common between sex and talks about it than it seems. Interestingly enough, the Old Testament contains 200 references to sex. What is it about sex that makes it so difficult to sit down and discuss it with your partner?
If psychologists and sexologists at some point had not become concerned with the issue, all the explanations about how to get pleasure in bed would have been reduced to one and only advice: “Have sex, repeat as necessary. Period.”
To eliminate embarrassment when talking about sex with the partner, let us first define what same sex is good for. We all know that regular lovemaking contributes to a stronger marriage and may substitute for workouts. Most importantly, it is a great headache remedy, so the excuse “dear, I have a headache today”, in theory, is more of an invitation than a rejection.
Psychologists believe that men simply cannot adequately express their emotions towards women if physical intimacy is not involved. Sex, therefore, is a sort of portal that helps to overcome misunderstandings between two people.
Good sex is not limited to the mechanics, it requires two people to become one. The success of your sex life is, first and foremost, the trust of your partner. There is no place for insults, recriminations and quarrels in the bedroom. All social roles should remain behind the bedroom door.
While it is important to not let in the bedroom anything but love and trust, it is equally significant to let the partner feel that he or she is wanted and loved outside the bedroom. After all, sex is not limited to sexual intercourse and may involve passionate text messages, love notes, touches under the table and endearing looks. “I love you” can be expressed in a million different ways, not necessarily words. The bricks of intimacy are strengthened by cement of trust and respect.
Everyone has different sexual needs and many couples fight over the fact that the husband is ready to make love every spare moment, while for his wife twice a week is sufficient. It would seem that this issue could be easily solved by talking it over. After all, the husband could be convinced that the silence of his wife is a sign of agreement and continue to prove his love. His wife, in turn, thinks that if she does not say anything, her husband would eventually stop trying. Such couples would be much happier if they discussed their schedule.
If using words is not your forte, magazines may help. They are full of articles about the needs of both sexes, so you can simply “forget” a magazine open on the page you would like your spouse to read. Partners who want to take a fresh look at each other may try sexual experimentation, beautiful lingerie, toys from the shops for adults and everything that prompts imagination. However, remember that the most reliable aphrodisiac for men is a woman he is confident in and who is confident in herself.
reported by Natalia Sinitsa for Pravda