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SUPREME COURT FREES CALIFORNIA INMATES


WASHINGTON, DC – The Supreme Court of the United States ordered California to release all its inmates!

In a highly contentious decision, the U.S. Supreme Court has ordered the California prison system to release all inmates in an effort to address overcrowding and the need to give inmates the freedom they have a right to have.  The total number of inmates the state will be mandated to release will fall somewhere between 237,000 and 246,000.

In a 9-4 decision, the Supreme Court upheld a 2009 ruling by a special three-judge panel; Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote the decision:

“After years of litigation, it became apparent that a remedy for the constitutional violations would not be effective absent a reduction in the prison system population,” Kennedy wrote.  “We can not take deny inmates their freedom, it’s against the Constitution.”

Critics of California’s prison system contend  that the keeping prisoners behind bars, “makes them into bad men.”   These people feel that prisoners can be monitored better in their communities, rather than behind bars.

Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito agreed that keeping people behind bars is tantamount to torture.  “We should either execute a prisoner or let them go free.  It’s a waste of taxpayer money to pay for their food and lodging,” said Scalia.

Sarah Palin said that the decision was “ignoramus.”  She vowed to shoot any prisoners that got near her “little grizzlies.”

Governors of the remaining 49 states with prisons, are also considering releasing their prisoners.  “If the Supreme Court says that prisons are unconstitutional, then I will be forced to release all my prisoners,” said New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

The Supreme Court, in a rare addendum, said that there is one exception.  One man shall remain behind bars forever:  Bernie Madoff.