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KIM JONG IL IS ALIVE!


ATHENS, GA – Kim Jong Il has been sighted at a record store in Athens, Georgia.

North Korea’s formerly deceased communist dictator was seen perusing used records at Wuxtry, the same store where the band R.E.M. was formed

Notably absent from the public eye for months, Kim Jong Il has been recently been spotted in small towns throughout the American heartland. North Korean officials deny these claims, sating “Preposterous! Our Glorious Leader is dead, working tirelessly for the people from the afterlife.”

Here he is relaxing in his Georgia apartment:

Although attempting to blend in, Kim Jong Il attracted unwanted attention when he began happily singing along to Dave Matthews’ “Under the Table and Dreaming” at a listening station.

After nearly two hours of careful consideration he left the store with albums by Tom Waits, Neutral Milk Hotel, and Johnny Cash on vinyl. Before leaving he picked up a flier for a house party at the nearby University of Georgia. Investigation has yet to conclude whether the communist leader attended the kegger.