OLD TOWN SPRING, TX – There’s a new trend in the Christian community – Pole-Dancing for the Lord.
A local Houston gym started a new workout class that has taken the city by storm: Pole Dancing For Jesus.
It’s a women’s only class that happens once a month and you have to bring your church bulletin to get in. And there’s no cheating! You will be quizzed on the contents of your church bulletin.
Once you are in, you will put on your high heels, take off as many clothes as you feel comfortable taking off (the gym recommends wearing only a G-string) and then…let the Pole Dancing begin!
Members of the class, get on the pole and dance erotically to loud Christian rock music. Women are encouraged to develop a positive self-image through the class, celebrating the body God gave them. And God wants them looking… hot!
POLE FITNESS FOR JESUS! is how the class is advertised. It meets every second Sunday of the month! If you speak in tongues, you get in free! “Come take care of the body the Lord gave you!” is what the gym tells potential class participants.
Sinner are not welcome, unless they Repent on the Pole.
Satan is reportedly upset that there is no Pole Dancing for The Devil class. Not yet.
Here’s a local Houston news report on the class.
I command thee to bare thy breast for the morale of the community.
Jesus, I told you to quit taking advantage of these mentally ill people.
-Love
Your mother Mary
Let the boy have fun and be a man. It's not his fault they lack rational thought.
its yours.
Experience what Pole Fitness For Jesus has to offer. Practice in the comfort of your own home by purchasing your own removable dance pole. http://PoleFitnessForJesus.com
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Oh great god. Is that for real? At least I thought there was an excuse for it.
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