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SUPERMOON!


On May 5, 2012 the world will change as we know it.

The moon will be passing by for its closest visit in the past 790 years. Not only will the moon be passing by at a range of just under 225,000 miles but it will also be full.

Richard Nolle, certified professional astronomer and webmaster of astropro.com, is warning the masses that beginning on May 5 and continuing through May 11 there will be a SuperMoon risk window for the entire planet.

Nolle warns that during the SuperMoon risk window the world should expect several magnitude 5+ earthquakes, countless tsunamis, constant volcanic eruptions and werewolves to run wild. Nolle has teamed up with leading expert on the paranormal and supernatural, Rosemay Ellen Guiley in order to discover the connection between the SuperMoon and werewolves.

“Since the moon will be so close to earth, many new werewolves will come to life as the proximity of the moon to the earth affects the transformation of many werewolves,” explained Guiley, “Some werewolves never morph due to the normal distance between the earth and the moon. But the distance during this SuperMoon is of great concern.”

Twilight fans are pooping their pants with excitement over the sheer possibility that they might catch a glimpse of Jacob Black.

“Jacob is so hot!!,” said Giselle Ramirez, a teenage Hawaiian resident, “I don’t care if lava is coming right at me. If there is a chance that I can see Jacob, I’ll let my feet burn off.”

Some scientists believe that the recent volcanic eruptions in Hawaii are a result of the moon gradually passing by closer and closer leading up to the SuperMoon risk window. Nolle explains that this activity is a result of the lesser SuperMoon risk window that is currently taking place. There is grave concern for the well being of the inhabitants of Hawaii as the SuperMoon approaches. As a preventative measure, the U.S. is now initiating mandatory evacuation procedures for all of the Hawaiian Islands in order to prevent a catastrophe. A voluntary evacuation will be put into effect for southern California starting Wednesday of next week.

After you read this article you should immediately run to your closest supermarket and buy all the canned food, bottled water, batteries and silver bullets that you can get your hands on. This is going to be an apocalypse and it is a going to be a wolf dog eat wolf dog world so be prepared for the worst.

23 Responses to “SUPERMOON!”

  1. The Good Greatsby says:

    We can't sit here and impotently wait for the Supermoon to attack first! We must strike now!

  2. jkl says:

    aha to true
    cant wait, only four days!

    • Nick Mentis says:

      The supermoon theory makes alot of sense regarding the effects that it could have on planet earth,it is in a constant tug of war with our planet,thats what keeps it in orbit around earth however when you start talking about the paranormal effects such as werewolves,you are now attempting to blow smoke up my ass,GET REAL!!

    • Shelly says:

      You're an idiot. Weekly World News is a satire newspaper. It's all fake for entertainment.

  3. Nopar King says:

    What is Supermoon?

  4. BLUESTAR(FULL MOON?) says:

    You will see, sooner and later, great changes made,
    Extreme horrors and vengeances:
    For as the moon is thus led by its angel,
    The heavens draw near to the reckoning.

    (Century 1, Quatrain 56)

    This quatrain suggests that horrors will be near as the moon appears closer to the earth. It might somehow describe the destruction of the moon as it is led by its angel towards a day of reckoning.

  5. Jennifer says:

    people r excited but it aint werewolves an earthquakes we need to worry about its god!! We r n our last days and the lord will b coming back soon to take all his followers home!!!

  6. djmer says:

    Mark 4:35-40

    35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”

    36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him.

    37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped.

    38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

    39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

    40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

    41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

  7. shzad1 says:

    Even so, there is no clear evidence that any of these phenomena influenced the Japan earthquake and tsunami. Read the truth about Biggest Full Moon after 18 Years Supermoon 19th March 2011

  8. nevergoingoutagain says:

    oh no! I'm on the Island of Hawaii and the super moon will be here in an hour and a half? Why have I not heard of the evacuations, and why are my neighbors all home? You'd think civil defense might have heard of this, especially since the tsunami warning last week…OMG, that's right! a 9.0 earthquake in Japan, that's on Earth, right? Well, pray for me, I hope the werewolves don't get me tonight.

  9. jeff says:

    I agree with Jennifer it's true we are in the last day's the book of Revelation is open and the signs are all over the place. Luke21:25-28
    "There will be signs in the sun moon and stars. on the earth,nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world,for the heavenly bodies will be shaken.At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. when these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."

  10. Dude says:

    wow! yikes! gotta stock up on canned food and silver bullets…

  11. Josh says:

    supermoon is more like superlame….. :|

  12. abigail says:

    You guys do know that the Weekly World News is all made up, right?

    • jackalope hunter says:

      The Supermoon itself wasn't made up. Some of the supposed effects of it might have been.

  13. Keshav says:

    It’s all fake….

  14. hi its seems Good and deferent

    This is prof Micheal, find about Aliens,UFO, Science and Galaxy details at my website http://www.7puls.blogspot.com

  15. hotel says:

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  16. Gerald says:

    See some of the most spectacular images of the supermoon ever taken. http://www.educatinghumanity.com/2012/05/supermoo

  17. Mr. Anonymous says:

    The supermoon is a joke.

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