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DOCTOR DISCOVERS CURE FOR CHRONIC CONSTIPATION


ARLINGTON, VA – Physiologist finds that a popular mobile phone game cures chronic constipation.

Dr. Reinhardt Burchfield, renowned physiologist specializing in technology based therapy, discovered what could be a revolutionary daily therapy that can subconsciously alter how the body and mind deal with chronic issues.  Burchfield’s discovery took place where most great ideas emerge, the bathroom.

Burchfield had been a long time sufferer of colonic dysmotility more commonly known as chronic constipation until he made this recent life changing breakthrough.  He discovered one afternoon that playing the popular iPhone and Android mobile game Unblock Me while going number 2 literally did just that. It unblocked him.

“My wife would always harass me for taking forever during my routine 3 o’clock bathroom break. Then one day I decided to play this game Unblock Me and it was like my world bottomed out. I was in and out in five minutes compared to the usual twenty,” explained Burchfield.

Since making this discovery, Burchfield has enlisted several other sufferers of the biological backup to determine if the game could help them as well. He reports that so far the results are promising.

Burchfield offered this explanation as to how the simple act of playing a game could stimulate the digestive system:  “More often than we realize, the mind will take a literal statement and translate or actualize it into a physiological manifestation.”

Since the discovery, Burchfield has flushed his 401k, IRA, and entire stock portfolio to invest all of it into research to determine if other popular apps could help other conditions.

Based on the principles of his recent breakthrough and the game name alone, Burchfield strongly feels that there could be a connection between playing the enormously popular mobile phone game Angry Birds with those who suffer from anger management issues.  However, many of his colleagues who have actually played the game feel that it will most likely make things worse.