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FEBRUARY 2012 RECEIVES 2 EXTRA DAYS


WASHINGTON – The Obama Administration has approved the addition of two days to the month of February in the 2012 calendar.

As we saw earlier this year when it was announced that a shift in the earth’s axis created a new astrological sign, now calendar makers around the world are faced with a new standard as well. Starting in 2012, February will receive 2 extra days, forever. 2012 was scheduled to be a leap year but with the new revelation about the permanent need for the extra days, the concept of leap year has been scrapped indefinitely.

For centuries, February did not even exist on the calendar at all. The Romans, who we can thank for our current calendar system, developed the calendar for the purposes of governing the cycle of planting and harvesting as they were an agricultural population.

This month was never considered to be worth counting as it occurred during the winter when no farming took place. That being said, February clearly has a lot of catching up to do and the two days are definitely well deserved.

Accountants and book-keepers around the world are rejoicing over the news.

“I for one am glad we are getting extra days. It has always been a royal pain in the you-know-what to budget the year with that pesky 28 day month in it,” said Susan Shechter, a book-keeper for a small family run business.

Calendar designers and manufacturers are seeing their fair share of problems as they adjust to the new rules.

“We keep having to send the designs back for February. The memo hasn’t seemed to be circulated to all of our designers and they continue to give February 29 days for 2012. At least they remembered that it was supposed to be a leap year. They usually forget that,” said Julio Gonzalez, owner of Here and Now Calendars.

On a final good note, after retabulating the tax tables to conform to the new 367 day calendar year, the IRS discovered that calculating taxes would no longer be a complex and painstaking process. That means this is our last year dealing with a multifarious tax system. For once, the planets really seem to have aligned in our favor.