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MAN FINDS MEANING OF LIFE IN WORDSEARCH


DALLAS, TX – A local man found the meaning of life in his newspaper’s wordsearch!

While reading the newspaper at his kitchen counter yesterday morning, John Bohner, a 66-year-old refrigerator repairman from Dallas, was shocked to find that he had discovered the meaning of life in the daily wordsearch.

Bohner said he is an avid fan of the wordsearch puzzles that appear in his local paper, the Dallas Tribune, and that he has been doing wordsearches since he was 10-years-old.

“I do these things everyday before I head off to work,” said Bohner. “Most of the time I can only get halfway through. I always miss those pesky diagonal words. They get me every time.”

But Bohner didn’t miss a thing yesterday morning when he accidentally discovered the meaning of life in one of his wordsearches.

“I had just circled the word ‘cucumber’ on the bottom left hand side when all of a sudden – BAM! – I found the meaning of life right there in the middle of the puzzle. It was hard to see at first – you know, because it was surrounded by other letters and junk– but after I circled it with my Sharpie it became clear as day.”

Bohner said that finding the meaning of life in his wordsearch puzzle has endowed his life with a sense of purpose and hope for the future.

“Before I found the meaning of life, I didn’t know how lonely and unfulfilled I really was,” said Bohner, who recently decided to quit his job and devote the rest of his life to charity. “But now that I know the secrets of the universe and the reason for my existence, I feel like a whole new man!”

Bohner said he knew that he found the meaning of life as soon as it appeared to him in his morning paper.

“I don’t know if it was the universe, or God, or some kind of alien species,” said Bohner, “but whoever it was obviously wanted me to discover the meaning of life – which is way simpler than you might think, by the way.”

“I can’t believe I never thought of it before,” added Bohner. “It makes so much sense!”

Bill Schwartz, the puzzle editor at the Dallas Tribune, could not be reached for comment. A staff-writer for the paper told the Weekly World News that Schwartz died of a massive heart-attack the day before the ‘meaning-of-life’ puzzle was sent to press.

PHOTOS by BOY MACK