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FLORIDA ADDS TWO HOURS TO EVERY DAY


The lifestyle in Florida is slow-paced and laid back, ideal for senior citizens and those with little to no motivation. However, with state revenues decreasing dramatically in the past years, the Florida State Senate is scrambling to find a solution to the slump in their economy. In an attempt to improve productivity and increase income, the State Senate announced that it will be adding two extra hours to every day.

Much of the financial loss has been attributed to the tremendous decrease in property values since the beginning of the U.S. recession.  Several homes throughout the state have seen property values plummet as much as 66%.  This loss in value has caused the state to lose millions of dollars in property tax revenue.

In a last-ditch effort to fix the economic crisis, the State Senate voted this morning to add two additional hours to every day. The following statement was released as part of an in-depth press release from Tallahassee.

“The Florida workforce needs extra time to get things done and our senior citizen population could use the extra time to get around.”

“Many of my colleagues said it couldn’t be done and that the change would completely confuse most of our elderly population,” said Governor Rick Scott, “But we had no other choice. If we are going to bring Florida out of the red, this is the only viable option.”

Florida does not have an individual state income tax, but they do tax corporations on income. The governor is banking on the fact that Florida corporations will monopolize on the additional hours, having their employees work ten-hour days instead of the regular eight. In theory the increase in working hours will drive up revenue from corporate income tax.

“My goal is to make sure we’re the state that everybody wants to do business in,” said Governor Scott in a recent interview.

However, many skeptics of the plan believe that most people will just see the two extra hours as more time to soak up the sun and hang out on the beach drinking.

With the recent news, college students all over America are, now more than ever, making Florida their destination for spring break this year.

“13 extra hours extra hours of tequila sh…, what’s that, oh yeah…7 x 2 is 14, 14 extra hours extra hours of tequila shots, I’m there!”