December 25, 2011 by Pierce Blodyn

PALM BEACH, FL – Thousand of sharks under alien mind control have been spotted just off the coast of south Florida.

Throughout this week, visitors to south Florida beaches have witnessed incredible shark sightings.

“There were a thousand sharks in a school offshore here,” said one visitor. Another visitor recounted, “They were coming right up. You could get knee-deep in water and they were coming in that close.”

Biologists claim that the increase in shark sightings is all part of an annual winter migration. As northern waters cool the sharks move south in search of warmer waters. They have also assured the public that the presence of the sharks should be of little to no concern for beach goers.

“They [the sharks] are generally not interested in you in the water,” stated Dr. Brian Franks.

However, this seemly sound advice from the doctor has done little to calm the nerves of many beach goers.

In addition to the mass amounts of sharks that have been spotted, it has also been noted that the sharks are swimming in synchronization much like Fu Yandong’s gold fish. Aerial footage has shown that the sharks are being positioned into geometric shapes and symbols similar in fashion to the crop circles that are known to be created by alien beings This strange synchronization was immediately brought to the attention of the UN Panel on Extraterrestrials and a full on investigation has begun.

“This shark activity is of grave concern for the people of planet earth. First the aliens implemented death on our animals and now mind control. This is clearly a sign that the aliens are learning more about how to control and manipulate the various genomes,” explained Cindy Townson who serves on the UN panel, “The aliens ability to control savage beasts, like sharks, is just another weapon that they will employ in their planned attacks.”

The UN Panel on Extraterrestrials has attempted to issued warnings to beach bums abound but their message has been intercepted by government agents who continually deny that an alien invasion is underway.

Some muscle heads have already taken matters into their own hands, going mano a mano with the sharks before they can make their first strike.

“I hate alien scum! I’ll take on every single last one of these alien controlled sharks and if I die tryin’ so be it,” said Philippe Barnes just before he flexed his muscles for the ladies and dove back into the ocean to take on his next opponent.

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