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MIAMI PORN: WHERE EVERYONE’S A STAR


MIAMI FL – Everyone in Miami is in on the porn game and wants to be a star.

Since the beginning of the 1980s, Miami has been seen by many as a dirty, seedy, and unsafe city to inhabit. Drug trafficking reached an all time high in the late 1980s, bringing crime and gruesome violence along with it. Popular culture has depicted this debauchery in movies like Scarface and the hit 1980s TV show Miami Vice. The crime and violence soon came under control in the early 1990s, largely due to the devastation caused by hurricane Andrew.

Now Miami is seeing new kids on the block, taking the place of the once omnipresent drug cartels. Pornography is now the new cash crop in south Florida. Its popularity has grown so much at the tip of the sunshine state, that it is starting to rival the industry of its sister porn city of Los Angeles. Many Miami porn executives even argue that it has surpassed LA, claiming that to film pornography in LA is “so passé”.

Recent 2010 census surveys and tax documentation has uncovered that most everyone living in Miami is now somehow affiliated with the porn industry. School teachers, librarians, doctors, pizza delivery boys and even 7-11 attendants are involved in the industry. Don’t you always wonder how they are able to film these things in libraries, doctor’s offices and the occasional convenience store? It’s because everyone is in on it. They all want a piece of the pie.

Recently, even the Miami-Dade Park & Recreation Department got in on the action. Reality Kings, a Miami based pornography company known for their guerilla style tactics, recently filmed Island Adventures on Monument Island, home of the 110-foot obelisk honoring Florida pioneer Henry Flagler. The movie was posted to their website earlier this month and credited the posting to one “Captain Stabbin.”

Since word of this unsavory affair became public, it has given rise to an investigation to see if any laws were broken by Reality Kings during the filming. Attorneys for the company claim that no laws were broken, as no one from the public was on the island at the time of filming.

“This is not an uninhabited island miles off the coast,” Assistant City Manager Hilda Fernandez rebutted, “It’s in the middle of a very busy bay. You can’t go filming pornos in public parks.”

Currently the investigation has revealed that a junior parks official sanctioned the filming stating, “I thought that it was pretty smart to choose to film the scene in front of the obelisk, being that it is phallic and all, so creative!” Since discovery of the poor judgment call, the junior staffer has been relieved of his position. The incident is still under investigation to determine if Reality Kings will be charged with any wrong dong doing.