APPALACHIAN TRAIL, WV – Hikers find a woman who has feet for hands in the mountains of Appalachia.
George and Phyllis Henderson were hiking through the famous Appalachian Trail when they heard a rustling in the bushes just off their path. They immediately took a defensive stance bracing for an attack by a wild animal.
When no attack commenced, the couple slowly crept toward the source of the sound, quickly discovering that the noise came not from a vicious wild animal but from of a beautiful young woman who had feet for hands!
“We couldn’t believe our eyes when we saw her,” said George, “Phyllis fainted at the sight. You can’t really blame her though; the girl was seriously overdue for a double pedicure. And you can’t really place the blame on the girl either. Not having any thumbs and all, it must be really hard to keep those talons in check.”
The young woman, who is from a small village wedged in between Shady Spring and Princeton, West Virginia just north of the trail, recently ran away from the town tired of continually being mocked and teased with comments like: “Careful, don’t trip now.”, “That girl, she really has two left feet.” and “Something’s afoot.”
George just wanted to continue on with the hike but Phyllis insisted that they immediately abandon their day excursion to take the girl to the nearest nail salon to remedy her podiatric predicament.
“I knew that the poor thing was going to need a lot more to help her fit into society, but every girl loves a pedicure, I know I do,” said Phyllis, “and by the looks of the hooves on her, a pedicure was a good start.”
Since discovery of the four-footed female, news of the woman has spread fast through the foot fetish community and thousands of paraphiles have been sending two pairs of identical shoes, requesting that she wear both pairs, take pictures of herself in the shoes and mail the pictures and the shoes back.
“This seems completely unfair for this girl,” said foot fetish model Felicia Morgan, “The least those pervs can do is let her keep the shoes!”
It has been rumored that Rex Ryan, head coach of the New York Jets and known paraphile, has already sent her four double pairs of Manolo Blahniks, three double pairs of Jimmy Choos, and 6 double pairs of varying colored football cleats.
However, it seems that Larry Flint of Hustler Magazine has beaten all of these guys to the punch. Sources say that Flint has already secured a deal with the Appalachian beauty and WWN has the pictures to prove it. If all goes as planned, this young woman might just have a fresh new beginning and start things off on the right foot.