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IRINA SHAYK


MOSCOW – Russian supermodel, Irina Shayk, is a Russian spy.

The CIA has confirmed that Irina Shayk, who has just been named Sports Illustrated new cover girl, is a Russian spy.

Irina became friends with another Russian national, Anna Chapman, who was arrested last June in New York City on suspicion of working for the Illegals Program spy ring under the Russian Federation’s external intelligence agency, the SVR.

Chapman was deported back to Russia as part of a prison swap.  The Obama Administration tried to send Sarah Palin to Russia in exchange for Chapman, but Putin didn’t want Palin.

Irina had dated a United States man with ties to a national security.  He reports that Irina had given him a milkshake that made him drowsy, forcing him to divulge state secrets.

That reports seemed false.  Does she look like she drinks milkshakes?:

Well, it turns out it is true!  Memos are flying around the CIA and the FBI – “Beware of the Irina Shake!” – they warn.

This would not be the first time that Russians have used beverages – especially tasty beverages – to advance their own national interest.

Former Russian agent, Alexander Litvinenko died in a London hospital on November 23, 2006, after drinking a chocolate milk shake (his favorite!).  The killer shake took his life in just three days.

Sports Illustrated has been alerted to the threat posed by Irina Shayk and her Shakes – “Shakin’ Shayk” – as she’s known to CIA agents.  SI said that they will be on high alert when meeting with her in the coming weeks.

In the meantime, we ask you again… Do you think Irina drinks milkshakes?  Really?