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OBAMA QUITS SMOKING, STARTS DRINKING


WASHINGTON – President Obama has finally quit smoking!   But now he’s drinking like a fish.

First Lady Michelle Obama said President Obama finally kicked his smoking habit and has not had a puff for about a year.
She revealed that during a lunch interview with ten print reporters who cover the East Wing. The meeting was organized to mark the first anniversary Wednesday of her “Let’s Move” anti-childhood obesity campaign.

Michelle Obama also revealed on “Live with Regis and Kelly” that the reason the President stopped smoking was because she the First Lady is pregnant with their third child. “I told Barack, that if he’s still smoking when our baby is born in July, I am leaving him.  That gave him the “push” he needed to kick the habit.”

When asked by reporters if the President had given up smoking for good, Mrs. Obama’s said, “Yes he has, yes he has. Very proud,” she added. “Totally.”

In 2007, Mrs. Obama made her husband promise to quit smoking as a condition to getting her support for his presidential bid.   She supported him, he won the election and… he kept smoking like a chimney.

“It’s been almost a year,” Mrs. Obama said of Obama’s last smoke. “But I don’t know exactly when because he never smoked a lot to begin with, so I never saw him smoke.” For those who want to know more about his smoking habit, “You have to talk to him.”

Unfortunately, both Mrs. Obama and White House staff that the President has started drinking more.  “He has at least 6-12 beers a day.  Guy drinks like a fish,”  said John Rosshirt, an Assistant to White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs.

“If he’s not drowing himself in coffee, he’s at the bar in the East Wing throwing back a few pints of Budweiser,” said Sally Jackson, Michelle Obama’s Chief of Staff.

White House Staff are beginning to grow concerned.  “He usually stumbles upstairs at the midnight,” said new White House Chief of Staff, Richard Daley.  “We have to put a stop to it.”

After Obama’s interview with Bill O’Reilly, which aired on Super Bowl sunday, Obama reportedly drank two six-packs.  “Can you blame him?  A blowhard like O’Reilly in his face for an hour, who wouldn’t drink?” said Vice President Joe Biden.

Asked whether he planned on having an intervention to get Barack to stop drinking, Daley said, “Yes, we are thinking of sending the President to rehab in the spring.  I think it’s something most Americans can relate to.”

Meanwhile, Michelle Obama keeps focused on her “healthy eating” initiatives.  “Even when Barack is drinking heavily, he eats well,” said the First Lady.