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KILLER COCK SLAYS CALIFORNIANS

LOS ANGELES, CA – a disgruntled cock fighter goes on a killing rampage.
Randy “Ruthless” Rooster is a long time contender in the sport of cock fighting. He has fought in over 125 matches, an unheard of number of battles in a sport where most only last a dozen bouts before they reach their bloody end. But recently after a long day of fighting cocks in southern California, something finally snapped in the veteran fighter sending him into a blood filled homicidal rampage.
His first victim was nearby spectator, Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, a regular to the matches who had come to the fights that day in hopes of winning big in the betting pool. Ochoa received one quick slash to his Achilles tendon, swiftly bringing him to the ground. After laying out Ochoa, Ruthless quickly went for the jugular, sealing Ochoa’s fate in a matter of seconds.
Evading capture after the gruesome murder, Ruthless continued on his violent killing spree heading south for Mexico, all along the way taking the lives of a local librarian, a school crossing guard, and a Taco Bell employee.
The National Guard was summoned to stop the ferocious fowl but in every attempt Ruthless was able to avoid capture. Not knowing what else to do, the National Guard had no other choice but to contact Interpol to get Superchicken to save the day.
Ruthless was finally apprehended by Superchicken in Los Angeles while Ruthless was attempting to attack a bus of tourists taking the famous Star Line Tours – Movie Stars’ Homes Tour. The attack took place just outside of, beef cake and former comedian, Carrot Top’s previous home where the funny looking guy was finishing packing up his things before completing his move to Canada. Lucky for Superhicken, Carrot Top was in the area as he played a key role in the capture of Ruthless.
“It was like something out of COPS except with a bunch of chickens,” said Herman Sanchez, a gardener who witnessed the capture, “like outta nowhere I see these two birds getting into it. Then in the blink of an eye, I see Carrot Top with his hands around the neck of one of the birds. That Carrot Top, he really knows how to choke the chicken.”

While being taken into custody by the LAPD, Ruthless was heard saying “bawk bawk, bawk, cock a doodle doo.” Super chicken was kind enough to translate this for us. “I had enough of the fighting. I simply couldn’t take it any more; I just cracked, like an egg.” As he was taken into the station a single tear was spotted rolling down Ruthless’s beak.

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