SAN BERNARDINO – The McDonald’s Corporation announced its plans to expand the franchise into unchartered territory. They’re building a Mickey D’s on the moon!
James A. Skinner, the Chairman and CEO of McDonald’s said the lunar restaurant is scheduled to open in January, 2015. The company set aside a budget of $12.5 billion to complete the project. That’s nearly 6000 times what it costs to open a McDonald’s restaurant on Earth.
When asked about the restaurant’s moon clientele, Skinner said the burger joint will cater to all kinds of space travelers, human and non-human.
“We expect a few astronauts to stop by every now and then,” said Skinner, “but we think the majority of the customers will be aliens. There’s just something about our golden brown fries that aliens can’t resist.”
In order to better serve their alien clientele, the McDonald’s Corporation plans to release a new, “moon-only” dollar menu, which includes foods like Astro-Fries, Martian Nuggets, and a new sandwich, the Big Uranus.
Skinner said he wanted to open a restaurant on the moon because the company had “run out of space” on Earth.
“We already have too many McDonald’s on this planet,” said Skinner. “There’s one in every country and on every continent on the globe. It’s only right that we expand our franchise into outer space. It’s the last available real estate at this point.”
So far, extra-terrestrial reactions to the lunar Mickey D’s have been mixed. Some aliens can’t wait to wrap their tentacles around a hot and juicy Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
“I’ve been craving McDonalds ever since I left Roswell in 1951,” said Splivzack, an alien from the planet Zeeba. “My buddies and I used to dress up as humans and chow down on some Chicken McNuggets after every alien attack. Man, those were the days.”
Others say the restaurant would be an unwelcome commodity in outer space.
“Just because I’m an alien doesn’t mean I have to eat like junk,” said Bjor, a cave-dwelling Martian. “There’s enough transfat in one of those burgers to kill six Plutonians!”
Still, the McDonalds Corporation shows no signs of foregoing their plans to open the first restaurant on the moon.
“We’re going through with this no matter what,” said Skinner.
Higher-ups at McDonalds are currently seeking talented, friendly, and motivated Earthlings to staff and manage the new restaurant. Qualified personnel are encouraged to apply at their local McDonald’s restaurant.
Watch for Walmart to soon follow.
There is already a Whataburger there. Everyone though tthey folded but they beat everyone to the moon!
kk. good job.
this is so weird mabey i should read it ?????
Please tell me you are joking.
Why not put 1 on Mars?
The moon has a lower escape velocity which, along with it's proximity to earth, makes it the perfect place to build a McDonalds catering towards space travelers.
That explains the moon, but jackalope hunter wants to know about why they didn't put 1 on Mars.
no…. don't believe it the author is a troll… aka a kidder he said that facebook will just be shutting down he said the president was selling the white house… you know what scroll up to where it says
Posted on Tuesday, February 8th, 2011
By J.B. Smitts
and click on his name and see all the bogus articles….
that picture doesn't look photo shopped!?
Are you a douchbag?
“I’ve been craving McDonalds ever since I left Roswell in 1951,” said Splivzack, an alien from the planet Zeeba. “My buddies and I used to dress up as humans and chow down on some Chicken McNuggets after every alien attack. Man, those were the days.”
Ya cause thats real LOL! my friend told me they put a micky D's on the moon but if she believed this artical i dont know what else she believes
I say WWN needs to make you a reporter.
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Wonderful paintings! This is the kind of info that are supposed to be shared around the net. Disgrace on Google for now not positioning this put up upper! Come on over and visit my site . Thanks =)
In 1957 i lived in Torrance California and a construction company was building a fast food restaurant called McDonalds. What is a McDonalds??? HA-HA