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GIANT SQUIDS KILL FISHERMEN


LORETO, Mexico — A pack of giant squid capsized a fishing boat in the Sea of Cortés yesterday, killing seven fishermen.

The band of sea creatures attacked the boat as it was returning to shore, creating a gruesome spectacle for late afternoon beach-goers.

“I saw four or five bodies wash up on the shore.  They were totally black and blue all over. They looked like they had been attacked by monster suction cups,” reported Timmy Irwin, a surfer visiting from San Francisco.

Witnesses say the lone survivor was barely recognizable after being dragged from the boat and chewed by several of the giant squid.

Marine biologists rushed to the scene hoping to catch at least one of the squid. Dr. Luis Santiago of the Universidad Autónoma Baja California Sur explained, “We captured one of the attackers. She is female and we believe most of the pack to be female because of their size. We also believe they coordinated the attack by using pigment cells to communicate, which is very typical in a situation like this. I’m afraid we may be seeing more of these attacks in the coming years, and possibly forever.

“Beaches in the area are closed indefinitely, and fishing boats are banned from heading out to sea until authorities can determine a squid-free safety zone.

Locals, who refer to the giant squid as “diablos rojos” – red devils, report that the legendary sea creatures have become more aggressive over the last few years. Marine biologists fear that the trend will continue because of the diminishing number of fish in their tropical hunting waters.

Many legends surround the giant squid because of their size and their gang mentality. They have eight arms and two tentacles, all covered in suction cups lined with small teeth. They also have three hearts and eyes the size of soccer balls. They hunt in groups of at least 1,000.

The giant squid can grow up to 40 feet long and 500 pounds, making them very difficult to combat. They survive so deep underwater that no light penetrates whatsoever. The pressure at that extreme level would crush any elephant or large land animal.