BEVERLY HILLS – Hollywood can relax. The briefcase containing Charlie Sheen’s cocaine supply has been found!
The briefcase containing Charlie Sheen’s cocaine supply was located behind some shrubbery in the troubled star’s neighborhood.
Police sources confirm that the briefcase, a brown leather attaché with suede lining and brass hardware, held several “bricks” of the potent white powder.
According to Beverly Hills Police Officer Joe White, “There was more than enough fuel to keep his bender going for a few more days, weeks even. We found it behind a big lilac bush at the foot of his neighbor’s driveway.”
Officer White continued, “We have surveillance footage from a camera at the drop house. A petite blonde in a white tummy top bent over and placed the case behind the bush after Mr. Sheen was taken to Cedars-Sinai. Anyone with information on her identity or whereabouts should contact me, Officer Joe White BHPD, directly, as soon as possible, Officer Joe White, (310) 550-4951.”
Sheen was taken to the hospital for severe abdominal pain after hosting a porn star bash. A business associate inside the house told WWN sources that “the house was crawling with porn stars, at least a good dozen. They were all very attractive, and very friendly. You couldn’t ask for a sweeter, more attentive, more enthusiastic, more giving bunch of young ladies.
Despite circulating rumors, Charlie Sheen is not dead. According to his representative Stan Rosenfield, “I have heard the same rumors, but they are not true.”