MONTGOMERY, AL – After allegations of false advertising, further investigation causes Taco Bell to close its doors for good.
Taco Bell, the pseudo Mexican restaurant popular among college students, poor people, those without taste buds, and individuals with bad taste in general, has recently been put on the stand for allegations regarding false advertisement.
On Friday, the law firm of Beasley, Allen, Crow, Methvin, Portis, Miles and another partner whose name no one can spell or pronounce, filed a law suit against the Mexican wannabe claiming that the meat mixture contains too many fillers and binders to be labeled as beef.
The majority of the time the meat mix is doused with so much cheese, salsa, and sour cream it is a wonder that anyone could tell it was beef flavored, much less question the authenticity of the meat itself.
Weekly Would News knew that these allegations could only be just the tip of the iceberg so we sent our crack team of reporters to the streets to find out what else could be behind these allegations.
It did not take long for our team to discover that the meat that Taco Bell uses for its beef based products is imported from China. This set off a myriad of bells and whistles on our end so we asked our Japanese WWN affiliates to check out the Kuang Ren factory in the Zhejiang province where the beef is packaged. Within hours our Japanese colleagues were back in touch with a shocking discovery, the so called beef is actually cat and dog meat.
We all know that that the Chinese have been known to eat cat and dog meat but we never thought that they would have the cajones to import the goods to the US. Taco Bell would not return our phone calls, which leads us to believe that this must be true.
Upon the discovery of the news, we immediately did the right thing and informed the FDA. The FDA has since mandated that all Taco Bells must be closed forever. So go get as many doggy burritos and kitty fajitas as you can before they are gone for good.
Hi Pierce,
Hey, how do you think Michelle got pregnant – it was by eating those goddamned cat and dog
burritos from Taco Bell!
Mark
i like how you hate taco bell enough to trash it, thanks for the update i shall investigate further, i'm sorry that your boyfriend cheated on you Pierce. He worked at taco bell and cheated on you with his co-worker. I would hate taco bell too 😉
i know i know, it hit a little too close to home, don't worry, your black cherry is still yours to play with
Umm, the food for poor people??? Last I checked, Taco Bell didn't have a $1 menu. BB King, McDonalds and Wendy's do.
taco bell also has $0.79 tacos.
uuuuh, they have like 79, 89 and 99 cent tacos and others…. i am not defending Taco Bell…just saying
But take heart – it's only 35% meat, whatever animal it may have come from. The rest is just filler. In any case, it makes me happy I'm vegetarian 😀
Like most businesses, they lie. You see a billboard with an overstocked taco filled full of meat. You buy one at store and you don't see any meat unless you scrape all the lettuce out of the way. Then you might get 3 bites of meat. So this news of that little bit of meat being 2/3 fake doesn't make much of a difference.
It just goes to show you when you eat out you never know what your really eatting. Ann__
LMMFFAO. The extra F is for fat, cause I have eaten a lot of dog and cat products from taco bell. I wonder what the chicken? really is?
Poor people? People with no taste buds? Really? You sound so ignorant. And you sound very envious of the Yum! brand. Just because you don't like Taco Bell doesn't mean you should talk about their consumers. You DUMB ASS! You probably eat fast food all the time and weigh 500lbs.
i like how you hate taco bell enough to trash it, thanks for the update i shall investigate further, i'm sorry that your boyfriend cheated on you jeff. He worked at taco bell and cheated on you with his co-worker. I would hate taco bell too 😉
lol that is soo funny!!! XL chalupas rock
sorry about your bf Pierce v_v
lol jeff was Pierce's pet name from his boyfriend Mandingo 😛 i hope you saw the cat you ate you asian pr-ick
i love 4-chan fans, i can tell this guy is a big fan and viewr of 4chan!! Pierce!! we miss you there 😀
Yes taco-bell will close… at 2a.m. and open back up at 10 a.m. !!!!!! ufff haha sorry about the boyfriend Pierce, you'll find your man 😉
Pierce call me for the time of your life, you'll be moaning "I want taco bell papi" 😛
The meaning of the name Pierce is Rock
I got a rock for you right here!!!
That boyfriend doesn't know what he's missing 😉
I found this place on youtube, your bf made a video of this thing Pierce, man you suck but it still sucks to be dumped by a man with a twice a horse d-ick
For one thing China is not the country that uses cats and dogs as food that's KOREA!!!!! and no they are not the same type of people each Asian country has different cultural outlooks. So before you start saying something do more research on that topic and get your facts straight before hand got it good
Koreans don't eat cat you retard. It is true though some eat dogs but it's not a common thing.
YOU get your facts straight before spewing crap.
This is probably the most unprofessional writing I have ever read over the internet in my life. There is also a lot of false crap on here to, but this takes the cake. Find another job man you dont belong in the news article industry.
this article is horse sh*t. looks like it was written by a 8th grader.
I new it wasn't beef! I thought it was horse. Thanks for truth.
lol .. good
Pierce needs to learn how to write better. Weekly Would News, and the very, very long run on sentence is mind bending. How does one become a writer, without the basics on one's language?