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ETERNAL FLAME GOES GREEN FOR JFK 50th


WASHINGTON – JFK’s eternal flame is going green!Sources close to WWW announced today that plans are underway to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy by updating the Arlington National Cemetery tomb.

Walter Berger, formerly with the Department of Public Efficiencies, was quoted as saying that it was about time for a new look at the old memorial. “Young people today are much more aware of the environment. The ecological torch has been passed to a new generation.”

Workmen are currently taking measurements in preparation for replacing the old gas line that fueled the “eternal flame” with power to illuminate a modest Compact Fluorescent Light (CFL) at the site.

“The installation and the annual operating cost of the new light is nothing compared to the message we send to the rest of the world” Berger averred.

Official unveiling of the improvements to JFK’s resting place are scheduled for later on in November. At which time those members of the Kennedy family who are not presently incarcerated will preside over a formal ceremony.