HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS TO LEAVE HARLEM

GREENWICH, CT – Harlem Globetrotters 4-point shot shadowed by announcement of name change and move.
The Harlem Globetrotters recently announced that the team will be relocating to Greenwich, CT. The move is a result of the fact that the team was sold to Thurston Billingsly IV of Greenwich, CT.
Shamrock Capital Growth Fund sold its 80% share of the team for staggering $33.2 million making Mr. Billingsly the majority shareholder. The globetrotters will continue to display their entertaining moves in venues throughout the world. The only change to the franchise is that the team will be dropping “Harlem” from its name and will now be referred to as the Greenwich Globetrotters or G².
“Not only did I feel that the name should reflect the new location but in today’s day and age every enterprise can use a face lift, just like my forth ex-wife, Gloria. G² is just the thing that the Globetrotters need to give them that 21st century edge,” explained Billingsly.
This news comes just as the Globetrotters announced that they would premier their new show stopper at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, MI, this Sunday; the Four-Point Shot! The new 4-point shot is made 35 feet from the basket, or 4 yards behind the 3-point line. The new shot can only be made from two midcourt areas.

“At the end of every quarter with three minutes left, there will be a sound that goes off, which means the 4-point shot is now activated,” explained the Globetrotters’ resident slam dunker, Brent “Thunder” Petway, “And either team can shoot from the 4-pointer, which can mean if you’re up already, you can blow the game away. Or if you’re down, you can come back that much faster, so it’s pretty cool.”
The fans were excited to hear about the new awe inspiring antics but outraged over the location and name change.
“They ain’t the Globetrotters if they [are] not in Harlem,” said Leroy Williams, Harlem native, “that sh*t ain’t right!”
The players are taking the news well, all things considered.
“With all of the gentrification that has taken place over the past few decades in Harlem, Greenwich is really not all that much different now,” said one of the players who wished to remain anonymous, “plus most of us live there anyway so it will make the commute as easy as a three-pointer from mid-court.”
In other related news, two of the now Greenwich Globetrotters will be competing in the new season of the CBS show, The Amazing Race.  Nathaniel “Big Easy” Lofton and Herbert “Flight Time” Lang will both appear on the show which primers February 20 at 8pm. Both declined to comment on the sale and move of the team but said that they were excited about making some 4-pointers.