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TOXIC WASTE CANDY ACTUALLY TOXIC


WASHINGTON – The FDA issued a product recall for several products made by the Indiana based company, Candy Dynamics.

Circle City Marketing and Distributing also known as Candy Dynamics is the manufacture of the wildly popular, extremely sour Toxic Waste candy. The candy is manufactured in several facilities throughout the world but the tainted candy was imported from a facility in Pakistan. One can distinguish the Pakistani candy from those made in other facilities by the sand that is often, but not always, found in the packaging. The sand however is not the cause of the recall but instead the high levels of lead, cyanide, and radiation that have been detected in the candy!

The toxic candies being recalled are Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Cherry Chew Bar, High Voltage Bubble Gum and Blueberry Barrel of Toxic Death.

“If you have ever eaten any of these products, most likely you have already been poisoned. Call all you relatives, kiss you family good night one last time and prepare yourself for the worst experience of your life. There is nothing that you can do to stop these toxins once they have entered your system. You are going to die,” the Food and Drug Administration said.

Jane Seymour received this enormous gift basket of Toxic Waste before the recall was issued. Unwittingly, she ate the entire basket during her lunch break at work. She was later found dead in the corner of her office in the fetal position and foaming at the mouth.

If you or anyone you know has come in contact with any of these products, even if you have simply looked at the products, you are basically screwed.

WWN uncovered footage from the Candy Dynamics Labs which potentially proves that Candy Dynamics was aware of the toxicity of their products all along.

Candy Dynamics declined to comment.