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LASERS ATTACK PIRATES


LONDON – BAE Systems,  British based defense company has come up with a green laser that effectively blinds an approaching pirate vessel.

Green laser technology has been used by the US military in several wars in the Middle East but until now has not been available on a commercial level.

“I plan to buy this tomorrow,” said Thurston Billingsly IV, “I need all the protection that I can get when I set out to sea on my  250 foot yacht, Naut a Care!.

One of BAE’s biggest challenges was to create a laser that could not only work over a long distance, but also not blind anyone in the process. The United Nations has banned weapons that have been designed to cause permanent blindness.

And although BAE claims to have achieved this, many pirates around the world have voiced concerns about the use of this new technology.

“Arrrrgh! This could potentially blind some of our best pirates, many of which only have one eye to begin with,” said Captain Morgan, pirate spokesperson and producer of delicious rum.

Some pirates have already developed defenses against the lasers. They quickly discovered that they could simply bounce the lasers back to the vessel of origin by using mirrors.  They soon also realized that this technique assisted them in their ability to board and take over the ship.  Other less intelligent pirates have decided to play Dark Side of the Moon,  sit back and just enjoy the show. Others just were sunglasses.

The International Chamber Of Commerce’s International Maritime Bureau said there were approximately 430 pirate attacks worldwide in 2010. BAE hopes that their new defense system will reduce that figure by 30% by the end of 2011.