GLENN BECK MOVING TO CHINA!

NEW CANAAN, CT – Glenn Beck announced yesterday that he will be taking his controversial talk-show to China – permanently!
According to inside sources, Chinese media giant CCTV offered Glenn Beck a $3 billion dollar/year contract to move his show to China.
“We believe the Chinese people will embrace Beck’s love of government and respect for authority,” said Jin Yao, VP of Social Relations at CCTV. “He is an expert fearmonger and a skilled propagandist. The People’s Republic of China can only benefit from his scare tactics and fanaticism.”
Representatives from Glenn Beck’s television show, The Glenn Beck Program, say that the deal has already been finalized, and that Beck and his family have already purchased a home in Beijing.
“Glenn Beck is excited for the move,” said Alexandra Dumascis, Beck’s publicist. “He can’t wait to take his political extremism overseas and help the people of China become patriotic, red-blooded Communists.”
“He’s already brushing up on his Mandarin!” she added.
However, not everyone at Fox News shares in Beck’s excitement.
“Glenn Beck is a hypocrite,” said Fox personality Sean Hannity. “He’s violating all of his principles by selling out to China. How can he call himself an American?”
Others were less subtle.
“Glenn Beck is a Commie!” said Bill O’Reilly. “I always knew he’d betray his country sooner or later. All it took was the right amount of cash.”
“Glenn Beck, you are a disgrace to America!” added O’Reilly.
According to police reports, thousands of fans from across the country have taken to the streets in protest.
“We want to let Glenn Beck know that he’s a disgrace to American conservatism!” said Wendell Yastrimski, who organized a protest outside of Beck’s Connecticut home. “He’s a sell out and he should be ashamed of himself!”
Glen Beck refused to comment to major media outlets about his decision to defect. However, he did make a private call to the Weekly World News office to explain his motives.
“$3 billion dollars is a lot of money,” said Beck. “You’d have to be a complete idiot to turn down that much dough. The American people can complain all they want, but the truth is: I’d sell my soul to the devil for $3 billion bucks!”

16 thoughts on “GLENN BECK MOVING TO CHINA!”

  1. My brother works at MSNBC and is probably 100 times nuttier than Beck and he would have
    mooved to China for a fraction of the amount Beck's getting.

  2. does anyone believe in the "news" on this website?
    is it supposed to be comedy or do they make up stuff to get gullable americans to click so they can make money?
    obama alien pesident? >>>
    lol

  3. Thousands of Beck fans put their homes on the market today so they could also pursue the American dream in China. I love this country … I mean, that country.

  4. "And for the record, he is a Mormon and not a Christian."
    lol. Mormons are christians as catholics and lutherans are you idiot, unfortunately. More people brainwashed with organized religion. It's a cancer of the World like patriotism which both together separates humanity.
    "Considering the fact that Beck’s personal views are extreme Marxist Libertarian, his form of patriotism is false and he is a person who has no real substance or depth. He is definitely not a true conservative. "
    Thank God for that! You should learn that liberalists always win in a long run. Development can't be stopped. Conservatists are just an obsticle of human development.

    • The kingdom of heaven ismin the heart of a man who accepts Jesus as his personal (Individual). God looks at the sincerity and integrity of the heart not what denomination HE belongs to.

  5. No I don't believe the "NEWS" on this website, what a load of rubbish, there is not a hope in hell Glenn would take anything to China as for the three million he has plenty, he does not do what he does for money, he doesnt need any more, this is just to bag and try to bring down A VERY HONORABLE, GOOD MAN, WE LOVE YOU GLENN, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

  6. Well, some people are motivated by money, some by other means. He would probably need to have all that money to consider moving to China, considering that China's form of government is different from the U.S. When our family had to move to US for a major change in our life, even getting a removal company perth had been one of our challenges.

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