MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Target Announces that they will change their logo

In an every changing economy and volatile market, businesses are doing everything that they can to appear fresh.

As was recently seen when Starbucks announced that they would be changing their iconic mermaid logo. To follow suite, the Target Corporation has announced that they to will also change their famous bull’s eye logo to keep up with the times.

“Since we have so many Starbucks in our Target Stores, we only thought it best that we follow suit and change our logo as well.” said Target executive Barry Finkelstein.

However, the new logo will only receive the subtlest of changes. They, as Starbucks did, will be removing their name from the logo and plan to place red cross-hairs over the single ring and dot.

Target executives explained that the cross hairs are intended to symbolize the cardinal directions. The logo change coincides with Target’s new directive, which is to spread in all directions throughout the globe in order to get the upper hand in world capitalist domination.

“We plan to take on Wal-Mart with full force,” explained Finkelstein, “We even have plans to open up a section that will sell rifles, hand guns, sharp knives, Chinese throwing stars and other weapons. We want Target to be a destination for survivalists as well as mothers”

Many members of the NRA are elated by the news that Target will now be carrying guns.

“We always wondered why they never carried them to begin with given the name,” said Ron Schmeits current NRA president, “we all love the new logo too!”

Many mothers’ organizations are appalled at the new logo and the announcement that Target would now have its own weapons department.

“Do we really need another place where kids and sociopaths can buy guns with ease?” asked Margaret Simons, chairwoman of Mothers Against Rifles, Tomahawks, Yo-Yos and more Rifles (MARTYR). “If they don’t pull the artillery from the shelves we are going to take our business elsewhere.”

Readers may wonder why Yo-Yos are included in their list of opposed weapons. I was myself at the time of the interview. As it turns out, the Yo-Yo was used as a weapon in the Philippines around 1500. Evidently many children have been injured with the classic toy causing the organization to add it to their list.

Target stores have also announced that they will be selling a metal spiked Yo-Yo in their new weapons department.