ROMANIA – Angry witches are casting spells to get back at politicians.
In Romania, until recently, witches along with sword swallowers, psychics, gypsies, warlocks and hunchbacks have not had to pay taxes on their earnings. But that is all about to change for them now. The world economy is still tanking and smaller countries like Romania are doing all that they can to stay afloat. This has led the Romanian government to make the controversial decision to tax these counter-culture craftsmen.
Witchcraft and sorcery are no laughing matter in this Eastern European nation. The dark arts are taken very seriously, not only by their practitioners but by government officials alike. Many state officials have even been known to hire witches to cast spells on their opposition, especially in an election year.
But the tables are now turning since the tax man has decided to stick his hand into the wallets of witches. Tomorrow both good witches and bad witches, from the east and the west will converge on the nation’s capital of Bucuresti to cast spells on those government officials who voted the new taxation into law on January 1. Some witches will wear red ruby slippers, others will not.
No one believed that the law would actually go into effect but when it did the sales of eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog went through the roof at several Romanian pharmacies. Pharmacies in Romania often sell witchcraft paraphernalia, ingredients for spells and many carry Slim Jims, too. Sticks of processed meat are hugely popular in Romania for both eating and beating.
“Where does the government get off thinking that they can tax us without any consequences? We hardly make any money as it is. What… Oh, this little house, it’s not mine… I’m just cat sitting yeah, that’s it… cat sitting,” she explained from the porch of “a friend’s” 3.2 million dollar villa in the lake resort of Mogosoaia, just north of Bucharest. She explained that in tomorrow’s rally she intends to cast a spell that will incorporate cat excrement, an oil painting of Chester the Cheetah and a mix-tape of Cher’s greatest hits.
Many government officials plan to wear lavender and mauve tomorrow as it is widely known throughout the region that wearing these colors wards off evil sprits; other’s plan to take showers in holy water before going to work. I think that it is safe to say that those who voted for the new law now wish that they could turn back time.