Worried about Zombies coming into your house? Here are 10 simple ways to stay safe!
With smash hit zombie shows such as AMC’s The Walking Dead and soon to be cult films like Dead Snow, many are beginning to wonder “What do I need to do to protect my family and home from zombies?” Well look no further, here are 10 simple ways to help you prepare for a zombie attack and create a zombie proof home.
- Build your home in a remote area: on a mountain, in the woods, in the desert or on the moon like MJ did. Zombies concentrate in areas with large human populations since human flesh is their source of sentience, so living in a remote area with few inhabitants with increase your chances of survival.
- Tall Fences: Building a tall smooth surfaced fence will prevent zombies from entering your property. Muscle tissue deteriorates in the transformation process rendering zombies incapable of scaling walls.
- Pit traps: Dig several large holes in the ground and cover them with big tree branches and leaves. If a zombie finds a way to breach your perimeter, the pit trap will provide the same defense as the tall fence.
- Build all doors out of solid wood or metal: Zombies do not have a great deal of strength due to the muscle deterioration as mentioned above. The strength of a zombie will be no match against a well enforced door. Windows should also be reinforced in the event of a zombie invasion.
- Well water vs. public water: Have a well on your property, in the event of a zombie outbreak you cannot rely on public water supply. The workers at your local water treatment facility might be zombies and everyone knows that zombies have absolutely no work ethic.
- Generators and fuel: Knowing the work ethics of zombies, or lack there of, it is best to have a generator at your residence in order to maintain your preferred quality of life. A hearty supply of fuel will be needed as well to insure continued use of your generator.
- Sound diversions: Zombies have an acute sense of hearing. If your property is large enough, install speakers at the perimeter of your property. If a perimeter breech occurs play loud sounds to lure the zombies away from your home and loved ones. Your generator will come in handy here.
- Weapons: If you find that you have no other choice but to fight, a sharp long machete or a scythe are good weapons of choice as you will be able to maintain a distance whilst decapitating your undead assailants.
- Own a mobile home: The best way to evade a zombie attack is to constantly be on the move. A mobile home is a good option as it allows you to flee from an attack of the undead without sacrificing the comforts of home.
- If you can’t beat them, join them: You might end up eating your first born but at least you won’t have to pay for their college tuition.
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"human flesh is their source of sentience…"
I guess that's why zombies want brains.
I think the new title should be
10 Ways to waste your Life
uhhhh this is a funny website thats y they have something like that!
Ah…I do love my life-impaired fellow citizens.
Thanks of course, but since childhood I am afraid of zombies, so I will not use them …. ask the parents!
We have seen a zombie? strange … but I think it's like I would on a note, Malolo … in dreams …
WROOONGGGG THIS IS ALL WROOONNGG!! ALL YOU NEED ARE PLANTS TO KILL THOSE ZOMBIESS SUCH AS PEASHOOTERSS :)))
i really agree…we need tall nuts too =DD
i agree too…
Peashooters can really save your brain. Make sure you plant those wittle sunflowers too XD
plant more plants and get some sun…
THIS.
You also need to sever their cerebral cortex using a machine gun or weapon of choice!
I got my ass-saving tips from the book Zombie Survival Guide, it's much more detailed.☺
hhaahah….so funny website…zombie???
only stupid people believe in zombies.
Thank you so much! Now I know how to protect my home!!!!
I bought that book for my boyfriend for christmas, I enjoyed reading parts of it before gifting it, a very good book.
hahaha
come on you people get a real fu**ing life and stop fooling around.
And on more drop dead fred.
why do people have to be so hateful i happen to have a life a great one great job great lover great friends but it doesn't change the fact that zombies are a passion of mine everyone has that thing they love! <3
Can zombies be converted for good?
well technically they arent bad or good they just see you as food so they eat you
If I told you how easy it is to get a job in this recession, you wouldn't believe me. But the truth is more employers are going online to find people just like you and me who are ready to work at a good job. The only thing that makes sense is to stop wasting time filling out a dozen applications and going from one boring low paying job to another. I found this site that pretty much matches you up with your dream job that is available. I have found it very helpful. Go to GetMeJobNow.com
NOW I KNOW HOW TO PROTECT MY HOME AGAINST ZOMBIES.. CAN YOU GUYS ADVISE ME WHAT TO DO ON MY ZOMBIE WIFE THAT'S ALREADY INSIDE MY HOME???
This is great fun reading these comments. But on a serious note, Spiritually speaking, it is all true and we can rid our home of zombies. Just open your eyes and ears to what God has to say and we can get rid of the zombies forever through the Prophetic Word John 8:32 And you shall know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.
don't forget about lawnmowers in case your almost breached!
This is very good advice. You people take heed, the government already has deadly gases that can turn people into the walking dead! http://rightwingrednecks.com
I like this BJJ technique
how do you protect your home from the bankers and wall street?
Is there zombie repellant?
Good question, are there zombie repellants?
Na, all you need is to pour on yourself some camel urine every morning. This way no one will come near you, even zombies. I sell a bottle for 120$, but for the users of this site I have a special discount: ONLY 100$ for a 100ml bottle with camel urine! anyone interested? Just call your nearest psychiatric institution and ask for my product. They will send you to me : )
You are absolutely right. I try to do this every morning before dawn. Your price is perfect. The flesh will become removed from the urine and in turn your skin will also become transparent like and perfect. As for the psychiatrist we do need to get our heads cleared. We need to ask for the camel products. Very Good!! Are you a prophet?
2 bottles please, why go through a middle man when its not nessary. By the way, how much do I have to drink for it to work?
I've used technique #7, and found it works very well. Zombies can't stand the Selena Gomez CD "A Year Without Rain". I play it outdoors 24/7, and have yet to have any zombies attack my house.
My neighbors have complained a lot, once to the police, but hey, better safe than sorry.
It also helps to play anything George Michael or Sir Elton John — I know for a fact it works against zombies. If you happen to smoke or have a friend/relative that smokes, it also repels zombies. They hate the smell of tobacco-related odors.
It is roumered that the non beef part of Taco Bell meat is ground zombie. And I'm referring to the undead, not Rob Zombie…
Funny, Very Funny. Maybe you should become a comedian.
maybe he should, jackalope.
My granny had a zombie infestion and we held them back by making a perimeter fence out of her stinky underwear – there's some lines even zombies won't cross.
You're family must be weird.
ring blade he will save you lol
NOT!!!
okay you should not make a pit cause' the zombie will only start to rot and the infection will have a high risk of being air orn
Oh this must be one of the best and I am sure everything would be that perfect. I like it then.
O gosh what to do!! Were doomed !! The just told me now !! I know I'll go to Miami!!
You can also use landmines and rifles with silencers.