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EXTREME COUPONING


CINCINNATI, OH –  When the world is about to end, peace of mind can be found in extreme couponing.

In these hard times that many Americans are facing, there is little to which one can turn for comfort and solace. Some turn to religion, others to family, but Amanda Ostrowski, aka Manders, has found her piece of mind in extreme couponing.

Manders, is one of four shopaholics featured in the new smash hit reality TV program, Extreme Couponing, that aired yesterday on TLC. These penny pinching purchasers save hundreds of thousands of dollars while amassing enormous stockpiles of goods in the process. Manders is slightly different form the others though, her obsession with saving and stockpiling stems from her fears of Armageddon.

Fully aware that the world will come to end in 2012 or perhaps a little sooner depending on who you talk to, Manders has been clipping coupons, dumpster diving for saving and just plain haggling for a chance to amass as much as she can to weather the impending doom that faces mankind.

“There is no way that that 2012 movie is a lie. Roland Emmerich is too altruistic to lead us astray. Just like Jim Jones, God rest his soul” said Manders.

Manders so far has been able to accumulate a 10,000 item stockpile in her garage including 218 boxes of pasta, 150 candy bars, 2 turtle doves and a whopping 3,000 rolls of toilet paper. That’s enough toilet paper to wipe her butt for about 40 years.

“When I look at my toilet paper the feeling it brings to me is just absolute joy,” said Manders, “I feel great knowing that my derrière will be clean when there is nothing left behind.”

Manders says that she loves couponing and that it is like a high for her. “If I’m not clipping I start to twitch a little and I begin to itch all over,” she explained.

If you are anything like me, you know that you will be glued to the TV for the Extreme Couponing Marathon sure to hit the tele this summer. Let’s just hope that it airs before we all go boom.